Predator with Jean-Claude Van Damme

"You're an asset; an expendable asset."

Initially entitled "Hunter," Predator began after being influenced by a joke circulating through Hollywood, that after Rocky 4 was released, the only opponent left for Rocky to fight would be an alien.

The Set-Up

Jean-Claude Van Damme was originally cast as the predator; the thought being the producers could capitalize on his martial arts ability. However, due to a myriad of reasons, Van Damme was replaced with Kevin Peter Hall, and the look of the Predator was retooled. They added mandibles after director James Cameron suggested to special effects artist Stan Winston that he'd never seen a creature with mandibles. 

                

Van Damme as The Hunter

The Execution

Over the years, Predator has been a defining genre film. It's also started a franchise of its own and been part of a crossover series. Considered one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's best films, and the film which established director John McTiernan, who would release Die Hard the following year. 

What might have been

Van Damme stays with the predator and as a result, does not become a bona fide action star. Instead of beginning his career with the holy triumvirate of Bloodsport, Kickboxer, and Cyborg...

Soapbox opportunity

Van Damme or Seagal?

The key difference between the two has to do with whether the model of the hero’s journey model resonates with you. Examples of films that follow the hero’s journey: the Star Wars trilogy, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Matrix, and any Disney movie during Jeffrey Katzenberg’s tenure as the CEO. In almost all of his films, Van Damme, who follows The Hero's Journey model begins as a novice who trains with a seasoned veteran to become more efficient and accomplish his goals. In all of his movies, Seagal starts out as an already unstoppable bone-breaking machine. In Seagal’s movies, it’s the spectacle and exhibition which are enthralling; with Van Damme, it’s the catharsis and empathetic response. I will forever be a Van Damme guy, but this is not to say if any of Seagal’s films from ’88–’97 are on TV, I won’t watch from beginning to end, quoting gems like “Lady cops need boyfriends, too,” “Hey yo, F--k Nuts,” or “Now you only got half a mind.” (The last quotation is spoken by a punk after he shot a store owner. The store owner was about to fight the punk, and began his tirade by saying, “I’ve got half a mind to come out there—” (He’s subsequently cut off by a shotgun blast to his chest.) And, of course, when I was teaching, I taught one of my classes the philosophical tenet: “Chance favors the prepared mind.” This is from The Seagal film Under Siege 2. 

Carrie with Carrie Fisher

What started out as The Adventures of Luke Starkiller as taken from the Journal of the Whills, Saga I: The Star Wars, and eventually became Star Wars revolutionized the science fiction genres and launched the cast into stardom. However,  had George Lucas gone in a different direction with the casting of Princess Leia, what might have happened?

The Set-Up

Brian De Palma and George Lucas set up a joint casting session for both Carrie and Star Wars. In fact, William Katt who would play Tommy Ross in the film Carrie had been considered for the role of Luke Skywalker. Interestingly, Robert Englund, who would portray Freddy Krueger, auditioned for Star Wars and suggested his friend Mark Hamill be considered. 

The Execution

Carrie did extremely well both critically and commercially and is regarded as one of the great all-time horror movies. It was also the first adaptation of a Stephen King story and would help to establish his legacy as well. Piper Laurie, who played Carrie's mother, thought the film was a black comedy since she felt her performance was too over-the-top. She had to be told otherwise.

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says 'give me a beer and a mop.'

What might have been

So, hypothetically, Carrie Fisher plays Carrie in the film Carrie, and aside from being extremely meta, allows for Jodie Foster to portray Princess Leia. 

I just wish I could switch places with her for one day

This, of course, changes her career trajectory, which means a different actress plays Clarice Starling in the film adaptation of The Silence of the Lambs. 

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie...

Beverly Hills Cop with Sylvester Stallone

Originally developed to be an action film about a cop in a fish out of water scenario, the script went through multiple changes, casting revisions, genre changes, and ultimately became a classic film that helped launch Eddie Murphy to superstardom. However, in an alternate timeline, we have this:

                                       Like a Rhinestone Cowboy

The Set-Up

Pitched as an action film titled Beverly Drive, the lead character was named Axel Elly, and would initially be played by Mickey Rourke who subsequently left the project and was replaced by Sylvester Stallone. He rewrote the script, renaming Axel Foley, Axel Cobretti. I discuss this and other aspects in the following short story: http://five2onemagazine.com/the-dialectics-of-val-kilmers-elbow-by-andrew-davie/

The Execution

Stallone quits the film, takes his ideas with him, and makes Cobra. Beverly Hills Cop catches lightning in a bottle and becomes a touchstone in the genre. Although, the fact it managed to stay coherent is a miracle (In one scene, an actor can be glimpsed holding the script, since there were so many changes.) Not to mention, we are treated to Brian Thompson's portrayal of The Night Slasher in Cobra. 

The Pythagorean theorem is  h² = 1² + 1² = 2, Pig!

What might have been

Stallone stays with Beverly Hills Cop which becomes a standard action film. His career trajectory is unaffected, although we miss out on the various Rambo sequels. Similarly, Eddie Murphy is available to do the following film:

"When you're walking down the street, and you see a little ghost..."

A Nightmare on Elm Street with Nicolas Cage

A film about a former child killer who invades teenagers' dreams and kills them in their sleep.

Odds are he's rocking out to "Dream Weaver," by Gary Wright

The Set-Up

Wes Craven had recently made the film Swamp Thing which tanked at the box office. As he was thinking about his next project, he read an article about former Cambodian refugees of the Khmer Rouge who died in their sleep for no discernible reason. I wrote a short story about the genesis of the movie here:

https://flapperhouse.com/2017/05/18/the-monster-study-fiction-by-andrew-davie/

The Execution

The film not only became incredibly successful, spawned six sequels, a crossover, and a remake, but along with Halloween, revolutionized the horror film genre. This film had a major impact on me throughout my life. I remember having a conversation with my third-grade teacher about how all of my creative writing that year focused on Freddy Krueger, the antagonist from the franchise. 

What might have been

The role of Glen was originally offered to Charlie Sheen before being accepted by then-unknown Johnny Depp. Since Cage's agent had introduced Depp to the casting director, it allowed Cage to audition. The role of Glen was not memorable in and of itself, but it provided Depp an opportunity to break into the film industry and become one of the most successful actors of the last thirty-plus years. However, who knows what would have happened had Nic Cage played the part. Would either he or Depp have achieved the heights they were able to achieve? Would Cage have gone a different route entirely?

"That's 'The pen is mightier.'"

                                        "I'll be takin' these Huggies and whatever cash you got."

                         
                    

                                

Platoon with Keanu Reeves

A film based upon Oliver Stone's experiences as an infantryman during the Vietnam war. The film was written partially to debunk the message put forth in the film The Green Berets. 

Shot in the Philippines, under similar conditions Coppola would experience during the filming of Apocalypse Now!, Platoon has become a classic film. It won The Best Picture and Director Academy Awards in 1986 and helped to launch the careers of Willem Dafoe and Charlie Sheen, among others. Not to mention, it has some of the best quotations which explain what it's like to teach middle school. 

Sometimes, I feel like a dude born of these two fathers

The Set-Up

Oliver Stone had already won an academy award for writing the film Midnight Express. He also wrote the screenplays for the films Conan the Barbarian and Scarface. He had won acclaim writing and directing the film Salvador, but still had trouble getting the financing for Platoon. Originally, he had wanted Charlie Sheen's older brother, Emilio Estevez for the part of Chris, but by the time he got financing in place, Estevez was too old.

The Execution

Platoon not only has the distinction of being one of the best Vietnam films of all time, but one could argue it is one of the best films. For most of my teaching career, I would use this film to make analogies to what the teaching experience was like. The film also launched the careers of a slew of notable actors.

           
             I'm always reminded of this scene when I think of my teaching career.

What might have been

Reeves, just at the beginning of his career, follows a completely different path that sees him going for darker and more serious roles early own. Whether he ultimately becomes John Wick remains to be seen. He still makes River's Edge but avoids The Bill and Ted franchise entirely. Instead, the following film gets made:

                         
                             "Come on, B-uddy." "For the last time, IT'S BILL!"

Who knows what might have been. Certainly, Sheen did a terrific job in the role of Private Chris Taylor. Had Reeves been cast though, this might have been the version of The Matrix which was released instead.

                                          Somewhere, in West Philadelphia

Taxi Driver with Jeff Bridges

The brainchild of three men at the top of their cinematic peeks Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese, and Paul Schrader, Taxi Driver became a symbol of rage, isolation, and unrequited love. It won the Cannes Film Festival's Palm D'or prize (Lost to Rocky at the Academy Awards for Best Picture) and influenced countless films which soon followed. So let's dum-dum some bullets, reconfigure a desk drawer, and tape a knife to our boot.

I should have purchased that piece of Errol Flynn's bathtub.

The Set-Up

Paul Schrader had studied film criticism before he co-wrote, with his brother Leonard, the film The Yakuza, which at the time was sold for a record $300,000. While he wrote the script for Taxi Driver, he had been reading the diaries of Arthur Bremer and was influenced by Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground, as well as dealing with his own isolation living out of his car in LA, and visiting a lot of porno theaters. Reportedly, he kept a loaded gun on his desk the whole time he wrote the script for inspiration. Most important, he had pictured Jeff Bridges while writing the part of Travis Bickle.

Brian De Palma had originally been lined up for the directing job, but Scorsese was eventually tabbed if he could get De Niro to play the lead. De Niro at the time had already made Mean Streets with Scorsese and had been nominated, and then won, the Academy Award for The Godfather Part 2. Reportedly, he was also shooting 1900 in Italy during pre-production for Taxi Driver, he would commute back and forth from Italy to the US, shooting/doing research driving a taxi.

The Execution

This is my favorite film, one of the best all-time. To suggest anyone would do a better job in the role of Travis Bickle, than De Niro, is insane. However, it would be interesting to contemplate how a young Bridges would have played the part. Whereas the rage is always lurking right beneath the surface with De Niro, I feel Bridges' Bickle would have been much more of a slow build toward the violent showdown with Sport. De Niro's look and portrayal are physically intimidating (You get the sense he could snap at any moment), whereas Bridges' boy next door look might have been more disarming. Still, nothing beats De Niro in this part.


What might have been

If De Niro doesn't make Taxi Driver, let's say it affects what is in the process of becoming a fruitful working relationship with Scorsese. Perhaps he simply continues on with no changes, they make New York, New York, and ultimately he brings the autobiography of Jake LaMotta to Scorsese and they still make Raging Bull. But, what if they simply make Mean Streets together and go their separate ways?

 

Bridges had already been in The Last Picture Show, Fat City, Bad Company, The Last American Hero, The Iceman Cometh, and Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. While he is still early in his process, his resume is not exactly dull. Those are some solid credentials, working with directors such as John Huston, Peter Bogdanovich, Robert Benton, John Frankenheimer, and Michael Cimino. If he's cast as Travis Bickle, he doesn't make Stay Hungry (One of Schwarzenegger's breakthrough films) directed by Bob Rafelson or plays the lead role in the Dino DeLaurentis remake of King Kong which put Jessica Lange on the map. Does he end up making Tron, Heaven's Gate, Against All Odds, and Starman? Or, does he take a series of more violent and dangerous roles? In some co-existing reality in the multiverse, Jeff Bridges' turn as Travis Bickle is still being talked about.

The rug really tied the room together Sport.

Boogie Nights with Leonardo DiCaprio

Let's just pause for a moment and take note of the fact that Boogie Nights was not nominated for Best Picture. On the list that year were: Titanic, Good Will Hunting, The Full Monty, LA Confidential, and As Good As It Gets... But we're not here to discuss that. Instead, let's imagine what would have happened had Leonardo DiCaprio chosen to make Boogie Nights. Excuse me while I set up the typewriter for the Colonel.

Start down low with a 350 cube, three and a quarter horsepower, 4-speed, 4:10 gears, ten coats of competition orange, hand-rubbed lacquer with a huplane manifold, full fuckin' race cams. Whoo!

The Setup

At the time Paul Thomas Anderson had made two short films The Dirk Diggler Story, which would serve as source material for Boogie Nights, and Cigarettes & Coffee¹ after which he'd be invited to the Sundance Lab to write The Hard Eight (also known as Sydney). His next project would be a scathing look at the LA Porn Industry in the '70s and '80s. With a few hundred page script, he set about to cast his project, under the guidance of the House that Freddy Built². The casting process was an interesting one: Warren Beatty and Sydney Pollack were offered the part of Jack Horner (Pollack later regretted passing) and Samuel L. Jackson was considered for the role of Buck Swope. Almost everyone read for Rollergirl. However, the most interesting is the role of Eddie Adams from Torrence which was offered to Joaquin Phoenix and Leonardo Dicaprio. Dicaprio at the time had played mostly eccentric parts up until then such as Arnie Grape or Arthur Rimbaud, then, of course, made Romeo and Juliet which caused millions of girls to enter puberty. He passed on Boogie Nights, to do another film, but recommended his co-star Mark Wahlberg, and the rest is history.

The Execution.

Wahlberg played the role of Eddie/Dirk to perfect, so it's tough whether or not anyone lost out. Marky Mark went on to make a slew of bad movies over the next few years (minus Three Kings) but was on his way to becoming a movie star. Dicaprio went on to make Titanic and became an international superstar whose very name once uttered could drive young girls into hysterics. Ultimately though, he regretted his turn in Titanic and would have done Boogie Nights had he had the choice again. He tried to hide over the next four years, appearing in supporting roles and an indie film The Beach.

What Might Have Been

Dicaprio does Boogie Nights, and the movie is pretty much the same, although the character of Diggler doesn't have the same pizzazz. Dicaprio gains a reputation as an edgy actor willing to take on challenging roles, though it takes him much longer to get the stardom which allowed him to be the global force he is now. Wahlberg stays in music for much longer, continuing to take smaller and supporting roles along the way. The world is robbed of him talking to a plant in The Happening. The biggest group affected by this is teenage girls, who lose out big time because the other people considered for Titanic opposite Kate Winslet are: Billy Crudup, Stephen Dorff, and Mathew McConaughey...

Yeah, well, listen. You ought to ditch the two geeks you're on the boat with now and get in with us. But that's all right, we'll worry about that later. I will see you there. All right?

1 not to be confused with Jarmusch's Coffee and Cigarettes
2 I used to watch A Nightmare on Elm St. 3 every day when I was in middle school. This explains a lot.